There aren't many photos of me from high school. Film and processing were expensive, and I was usually the one behind the camera. So when a friend posted this picture on Facebook, I experienced a flood of thought and emotion. I remembered that shirt, I vaguely remembered the day these pictures were taken. We were being artistic, playing around with black and white film. It brought back that summer when we'd hang out at Jill's, because she was an only child with the entire top floor to herself. As long as we were set with snacks and beverages, we could stay up there for days. I was still fighting with my hair all the time. I was fighting with my mom all the time. It was the summer I met Maya's father. I thought I was so fat then, when I absolutely wasn't. I had a pager. I had my first job. I bought my first pair of real Doc Martens. Minimum wage was $4.25 so it took a whole paycheck.
I did a lot of things I shouldn't have that summer, but I don't truly regret any of it. Those experiences are an integral part of who I am today. And despite how hard it has been to be a young mom, and as much as I am not endorsing it for anyone, Maya is an extraordinary human being and I'm glad that someone so amazing came out of so much turmoil.
It's also amazing to see that the girls I hung out with that summer have also grown into beautiful, successful women. Jill, Kara, Lyndsey, Jessica, it goes to show that there are worse ways to waste youth.
People like to write letters to their teenaged selves, but I know that if I were to have received a letter from my 32 year old self, I wouldn't have listened. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
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