Guest Post: Pope Timothy on the Joy of Fall

Today's guest post is from Tim. We've been friends since he was in high school. I met him through his older brother, Bob. His whole family is super cool. He has the kind of parents that tend to informally adopt all their kids' friends. He's a writer, activist, and all around awesome guy.



I grew up near Chicago, a place that has actual seasons, unlike my current state of residence, which is Arkansas. I'm a big guy, and a hairy guy, so I sweat a lot. I've never much cared for hot weather, and spend most of my Arkansas summers completely nocturnal. It's now almost September, which means that fall is approaching, and I couldn't be happier. Autumn always has been my favorite season, for a number of reasons.

Firstly, I get to wear jackets and hoodies again. I enjoy wearing suits as well, especially going out to events and protests, and have attempted to wear a suit to events in this summer, only to have to strip down due to the unbearable heat. Also, a good jacket masks my big gut, and give me a bit more confidence.



Secondly, I love watching the leaves change color. Not because I think it's pretty or anything, but because I hate trees and love watching them die. (See: Society Against Trees).

Third, the web-forums that I browse are going to be a lot more awesome during school time. All summer long, the web is filled with kids on their summer break misusing memes, not getting all the good inside jokes, and all around causing frustration. Now they will all be forced to learn how to sit quietly and regurgitate facts like a good little consumer, and I will get to browse peacefully.

Fourth, all the shows I'm super addicted to will be coming back. Boardwalk Empire, The Walking Dead, Bored to Death, and Doctor Who all start new seasons this fall. Fall also has the ridiculous advent of Fall Sweeps, which, to what I understand, means that the TV stations all search for the lowest common denominator to pump mind numbing sitcoms into our collective unconscious.

Fifth, Fall is the only season to get two official names, making it better than the other seasons. Yeah, that's right, Fall AND Autumn are both acceptable and widely used terms for this awesome season. Summer, Winter and Spring, are you even trying? We all know that when something has many names, it's because it's something that is awesome. (I invite you to think of how many words are used for breasts).

Sixth, my birthday is in the fall. This year I turn 31, so that means I can no longer be trusted, according to the lyrics of All the Young Dudes by David Bowie. I'm OK with this. I'm tired of people trusting me as much as they do anyway. Also, I'm pretty certain that Libra is the best of the zodiac signs, and all other Libras will have birthdays this fall, and enjoy being better than the other zodiac signs.

Lastly, I like to cuddle, and as I said before, I'm a big, hairy, sweaty dude. This doesn't bode well for summer cuddling, but in the fall and winter, I'm like a free space heater, and trust me, I take advantage of that.


For more of Tim's musings, check out The Official Blog of Timothy Bowen. (You can purchase his books there, too.